Asma Balfaqih
Good manners
Saying no without hurting
When we teach children courtesy, we often mean agreement. Be nice, give in, do not make a fuss. It is well meant and still risky, because a child who is never allowed to say no does not learn to protect its own limits.
Saying no can be practised like any other form of courtesy. It takes a clear sentence, a friendly tone and, where possible, a reason. I do not want that right now, I am playing. Sentences like these sound simple, but they really do need practice.
It matters just as much that adults take a child’s no seriously wherever that is possible. Not every no can stand, and a child knows that too. But someone who is never heard will eventually stop trying politely.